How Joy-Led Decisions Changed Everything (Even My Career Path)
For a long time, my decisions came from logic.
What made sense.
What was safe.
What was expected.
It wasn’t that I was unhappy. I had built a life that checked all the boxes:
A respected career. A steady routine. A clear identity.
But there was one box I never touched—
Joy.
Not fun. Not “me time.”
But real, full-body joy. The kind that lights your chest up and makes time disappear.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want it.
I just didn’t know I was allowed to choose it.
We’re Trained to Prioritize What’s Practical—Not What’s Personal
Especially in medicine.
You don’t pick specialties based on what lights you up—you pick what fits your scores.
You don’t take breaks—you maximize PTO.
You don’t chase joy—you chase outcomes.
And that’s how I lived for years.
I made responsible choices.
I stayed in my lane.
I said “maybe later” to almost everything that felt even remotely selfish.
Until one day I realized I couldn’t remember the last decision I made just because it made me happy.
The Turning Point Wasn’t Loud. It Was a Whisper.
It was a random Tuesday, post-call. I was on autopilot—doing the usual scroll, snack, zone-out loop—when I saw a picture of someone hiking through the mountains.
And something in me just… stopped.
Not with jealousy. Not with comparison.
With longing.
I wanted to feel that free.
That unhurried.
That in love with life again.
Not on vacation.
Not someday.
But now. Inside my regular, real, messy life.
So I Tried Something Radical: I Let Joy Make the Next Decision
Not pressure. Not guilt. Not the internal checklist.
Just one question:
“What would feel good right now?”
And that’s how it started.
Not with quitting my job.
Not with selling everything and moving to the woods.
But with small, sacred shifts:
✅ I started saying no to anything that felt like obligation in disguise
✅ I chose food that felt nourishing instead of convenient
✅ I let myself read fiction again—just because I loved it
✅ I started talking about things that mattered to me, not just what people expected me to say
✅ I built moments of joy into my schedule—like they were just as important as rounds or consults
And you know what?
Everything changed. Not all at once. But from the inside out.
Joy Doesn’t Always Scream—Sometimes It Waits Quietly to Be Chosen
You don’t have to burn everything down to find joy.
You don’t have to escape your life.
You don’t even need to know where it’s all leading.
You just need to ask:
👉 What would bring me a little more light today?
And trust that following that feeling—even if it’s small—rewires your life.
Because the more you choose joy, the more you remember who you were before the world told you who to be.
You start showing up differently.
You stop performing.
You start living.
You Are Allowed to Want a Life That Feels Like Yours
And here’s the truth:
You don’t need to justify it.
You don’t need to wait for permission.
You don’t need to prove that you’ve suffered enough to deserve it.
You’re allowed to change direction—not because you’re lost, but because you’ve outgrown the map.
You’re allowed to choose again.
To pivot. To experiment. To feel again.
Not everything you do has to make sense to everyone else.
It just has to make you feel alive.
