Overworked, Overcommitted, and Still Not Enough: My Wake-Up Call
At some point, I became the one everyone could count on.
Need a shift covered last minute? I’m your girl.
Running behind in the OR? I’ll stay late.
Overflow clinic? I’ll squeeze them in.
Vacation coverage? No problem.
At first, it felt like I was being a good teammate. A dependable doctor. A strong leader.
But somewhere between that third consecutive overnight shift and the unread messages from my partner asking if I was okay…
I realized I had built an identity around being needed—not around being well.
The Culture of “Yes” in Medicine Is Slowly Burning Us Out
It’s not just a busy schedule.
It’s the underlying pressure that if you don’t say yes, you’re letting someone down. That you’re not a team player. That you’re being selfish.
We’ve been conditioned to believe that exhaustion is honorable. That the best doctors are the ones who stay late, skip meals, and never complain.
And let me tell you—I wore that mask for a long time.
But behind the smile and the “sure, I’ll do it,” I was unraveling.
Overcommitting Isn’t Sustainable—It’s Self-Abandonment
I didn’t have language for it then, but I was constantly betraying myself:
Saying yes when I wanted to say no
Skipping rest because I didn’t want to look weak
Feeling guilty for taking a day off
Telling myself “it’ll calm down next month” for 18 straight months
And the more I said yes to others, the more I disconnected from myself. My body started giving me signals:
Sleep that didn’t restore
Snapping at my loved ones
Constant low-grade anxiety
Resentment I didn’t know how to name
A deep sadness that showed up in quiet moments
But I brushed it off because… I was “doing the right thing.”
Until I realized that doing everything for everyone else meant doing nothing for myself.
The Guilt Was the Hardest Part
I didn’t just fear disappointing people.
I feared being perceived differently—less competent, less reliable, less valuable.
So I kept pushing.
Kept smiling.
Kept saying yes.
Even when my body said stop.
Even when my relationships started suffering.
Even when my joy dried up completely.
And the worst part?
I thought it was my fault.
That maybe I just needed better time management.
More gratitude.
A stronger mindset.
But what I really needed was a boundary.
And the permission to believe that I was enough, even when I wasn’t available.
Here’s What Shifted Everything for Me
It wasn’t a grand awakening. It was small moments that built momentum:
Saying “Can I get back to you?” instead of an immediate yes
Scheduling rest into my calendar as if it were a meeting
Reminding myself that I wasn’t hired to sacrifice my health—I was hired to serve with clarity and focus
Learning that when I stopped overgiving, I had more to offer, not less
Slowly, the guilt started to fade.
Slowly, the resentment lifted.
And in its place, I felt something I hadn’t in a long time:
Peace.
You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation for Choosing Yourself
If you’re reading this and feel a pit in your stomach…
If you’ve been saying yes while silently screaming “I need a break”…
If you’ve normalized the resentment in your chest…
Let this be your permission slip:
You don’t have to earn rest.
You’re not required to overextend to prove your worth.
Your value is not tied to how many problems you fix.And no—it’s not too late to shift. Even in medicine.
Even in systems that expect you to give everything and ask for nothing.
Because here’s the truth:
You can be a phenomenal clinician and still have boundaries.
You can be a reliable teammate without destroying yourself.
You can be deeply committed—and still say no.
